Harvard researchers identified a major cause of loneliness, as well as a way to tackle it

Some find it hard to connect with people because they simply don't have the time, are afraid of rejection, or are introverted by nature.

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• Loneliness isn't just an unpleasant feeling; it's a serious risk to physical and mental health.
• US and Australian researchers found that how we deal with feelings has a big effect on loneliness.
• Those who learn to regulate their emotions are more able to overcome loneliness.

Loneliness can make people ill. 

People who feel permanently lonely are more likely than others to suffer from depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders. It's not just the mind that suffers from loneliness, it's also harmful to the body. 

It increases the risk of strokes, heart attacks, obesity, and chronic or acute pain, according to Psychology Today.

No one wants that, and yet there are many who are exposed to these health risks by ending up lonely. Loneliness isn't the same as being alone, however. 

Almost everyone enjoys a bit of alone time — but it's only enjoyable if you spend it knowing you have a stable social environment, with friendships, or family connections that you can always rely on. 

For those that don't have this, "me-time" is no longer a positive experience. Instead, it creates feelings of loneliness.

There are many reasons why someone may start to feel lonely. Some causes are more obvious than others, like social media, which has somewhat removed the need for face-to-face interaction in many instances. The COVID-19 pandemic has also added to this.

Others may find it hard to connect with people because they simply don't have the time, are afraid of rejection, or are introverted by nature.

Researchers at Harvard University, Stanford University, Curtin University, and the University of Western Australia have now looked at another factor that they thought might promote loneliness, according to Psychology Today.

The scientists wanted to understand the influence that the way we deal with our feelings has on loneliness.

A huge influence — that's how the research team's answer may be summarized.

The experts used a comprehensive questionnaire that they gave to 501 adult test subjects. In the questionnaire, they were asked to state how lonely they felt and how they generally dealt with negative emotions.

Dealing with negative feelings is crucial

Certain coping strategies were found to significantly increase the risk for loneliness. 

1. Excessively thinking about something
2. Blame, either directed at oneself or at other people
3. Imagining catastrophic scenarios
4. Suppression of negative feelings
5. Deliberate withdrawal from social contacts and avoidance of other people
6. Refusal of emotional support

You might think that knowing this means lonely people have the solution to their problems. But it's not that simple, as magazine Brigitte pointed out.

The mechanisms with which we try to control negative feelings are often difficult to change. They come from our upbringing and previous experiences, the magazine explained.

Self-reflection is the key to combating loneliness

The researchers did provide some encouragement for people suffering from loneliness, however.

Even though it's often difficult, it's possible to work on the way we deal with negative emotions. 

The first step to getting there is self-reflection.

If you often feel lonely, pay attention to how you behave when a problem is bothering you.

For example, if you've had a fight with an important person or a project at work has gone wrong, maybe you find that you suppress your anger or disappointment or spend hours brooding instead of actively seeking a solution.

Then remind yourself that there are healthier mechanisms for working through your problem.

One of them, for example, might be simply going out for a drink with a good friend and talking about what's on your mind.

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