Financial lessons to be learned from the viral 'Who TF Did I Marry?' TikTok series
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- Reesa Teesa shared her tumultuous relationship story on TikTok in the series "Who TF Did I Marry?"
- The story of her ex-partner lying about his income and financial status highlighted some red flags.
- Financial experts said mismatched spending and income and extreme behavior could be warning signs.
A woman has captivated the internet with the story of her tumultuous relationship with her ex-partner.
She goes by Reesa Teesa on TikTok, and has accumulated around eight hours of footage where she describes the twists and turns of her life with her former husband in a 50-part series known as "Who TF Did I Marry?"
It's worth saying that her story is messy and unsubstantiated. She didn't respond to a request to comment from Business Insider.
A man identifying himself as her husband has said the claims are untrue — though it's not certain whether he is real either. He also didn't respond to BI's request.
Nonetheless, it has brought a lot of attention to financial abuse, a real and serious problem, which may take the form of an abusive partner withholding money from their spouse as a means to control them, or hiding large amounts of cash or assets from them.
@reesamteesa Just a small snippet of the things my ex husband lied about. #pathologicalliar #divorcetok #covid #reesateesa
♬ original sound - ReesaTeesa
You don't have to have money to be able to weaponize it either. Some financial abusers use their partners to take out massive amounts of debt or make expensive purchases in their name.
In Teesa's story, her partner, who she refers to as Legion, claimed to be a high-paid executive, and would spend hours per day on the phone with supposed friends, family, or employees.
The relationship seemed great at first, Teesa said, and was fast-tracked somewhat due to the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020.
But cracks started to show when they planned to buy their first house, she said. Legion was unable to show proof of funds, she explained, so the sellers pulled out. This was despite him apparently putting in a $700,000 all-cash offer.
Although Teesa had some concerns, the couple got married in 2021. But the relationship unraveled when Teesa found out Legion lied about almost everything, she said. His social security number was fake, he cheated multiple times, and he claimed his step-daughter had died from Covid when she was still alive.
He even lied about where he grew up and how many siblings he had, she said.
Since her series went viral, a man named Jerome JC Rome McCoy has come forward, claiming to be Teesa's ex, and accusing her of making the story up, abusing him, and cheating on him, MailOnline reported.
Screenshots of McCoy's Facebook profile emerged on TikTok, then he seemingly set up his own account, according to MailOnline.
The TikTok account, which has 15,000 followers, has also posted screenshots including purported messages from Teesa, where she says: "You need to leave me alone. This is getting out of hand."
However, Teesa has not confirmed or denied whether the account is real, or whether McCoy is even her ex. BI has reached out to McCoy through Facebook and the TikTok account for comment.
Teesa and Legion are now divorced, though his lies continue, she added. But Teesa has gained more than three million followers for her videos, with some calling for it to be made into a movie. Business Insider reached out to her for comment but did not immediately hear back.
"There is a level of cruelty to my ex-husband that I have never experienced before," she said in her concluding part of the story. "And God knows I pray I never experience that again."
Signs you're not a financial match
It can be hard to spot the red flags when you first meet someone, especially because people tend to try to be their best selves when wooing their date.
But experts told BI there are some early warning signs to keep an eye out for that may mean you're not a financial match.
Andrea Woroch, a consumer finance and budgeting expert, told BI that partnering up with someone with similar financial values when it comes to spending and saving helps to minimize financial conflicts and fights.
She said one major sign someone is on a different wavelength is if their spending doesn't match their paycheck.
"Are they spending a lot on designer clothing, fancy cars, or lavish trips but their job or income doesn't match?" she said. "Chances are this person is funding all these expensive things with a credit card and could be drowning in debt."
Credit cards aren't necessarily "evil," Woroch added, but someone who has a wallet full of them "could be in financial trouble."
Other signs include being showered with endless gifts without any worry of the financial consequences, a stack of unpaid bills sitting on the counter, and if they are constantly borrowing money from friends, Woroch said.
Jacqueline Newman, a divorce attorney, told BI that someone who is "incredibly shady" about their income, or constantly changes their stories about their finances could be hiding something.
Other warning signs also might be someone who "pushes the limits of frugal and verges of inappropriate," she said, such as stealing a whole table's worth of sugar packets from a café.
Chad Willardson, a certified financial fiduciary, agreed that it's often the extremes you should look out for, such as extreme over or under-spending, as this is "where the dangers most often lie."
"Keep an eye on their purchasing habit," he told BI. "If you're far enough into a relationship to know an approximate income, pay attention to whether their spending, investing, and saving habits are normal or out of whack."
Another major red flag is a financial dependency on their parents, Willardson added.
"I've seen people who are in their thirties and forties, yet they're still getting a lot of financial help from their parents," he said. "This tells you that a person might not be mature or independent enough to handle their own bills."
Woroch said it can be "awkward" to start conversations about money with your partner, but it's important to try. A good starting point may be asking your partner about their family and what their attitudes about finances were.
"This usually shapes how the other person spends and saves and can give you a better insight on how they will manage money," she said. "Be open and respectful and don't judge."
In order to stay financially safe in a relationship, Newman said, "it is important to be a little guarded when it comes to your money."
"Do not blend funds to the point that you do not have access to money in your sole name unless you are in a very committed relationship," she said. "Even then, I would be wary."
She added to never let yourself be "in the financial dark."
"Always be aware of the money you have, the income you have, and the expenses you have," she said.
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