I moved from New York City to Paris at age 79. Some people said I was crazy, but I wanted something new for this stage of my life.
Courtesy of Mary Jane Wilkie
- Mary Jane Wilkie is an independent contractor for a recruiter who moved from NYC to Paris in 2021.
- She began to dream of moving after making friends and visiting with her singing group in 2016.
- Despite a few challenges when it comes to taxes and cultural differences, she loves her new life.
It was my fantasy to move to Paris, but not necessarily at age 79 — that's just when it happened. I'd lived in New York City for 35 years, but Paris had been in the back of my mind since 2016.
COVID-19 quashed an earlier attempt to leave New York City in March 2020, so almost two years later, I boarded the plane shortly after my 79th birthday.
For more than 20 years, I've worked as an independent contractor for a recruiter, conducting interviews with candidates for executive positions with a national nonprofit organization. Because I could carry the work with me from the US, I still do this in Paris.
I chose Paris for a few reasons
Having spent about half of my adult years enjoying New York City, I wanted something else for the penultimate stage of life.
I love my family, but they live across the US in places such as Texas, New Mexico, and Colorado. They want the best for me, as do my friends. Many of my NYC friends have left the city, and a few have passed away.
Since 2016, I've traveled to Europe several times a year to sing with a group. I particularly enjoyed the food and the general atmosphere in France.
I also like that it's possible to live car-free in Paris. You can satisfy most of your basic needs within 15 minutes of home via walking or using public transport.
I started to make friends during my visits, and the image of a permanent move crept into my mind. Some people said I was crazy, but I could either sit in New York fantasizing about France or I could take action. So I confronted my fantasy.
I started with a trial period
In early December 2019, I left to spend three months in Paris to decide whether I wanted to move permanently. I decided that I did, and I returned to New York to sell my apartment.
This was in March 2020, so the pandemic and a terrible real-estate market confined me to the city for almost another two years. Then the market revived, a buyer materialized, and in December 2021, I landed at Paris' Charles-de-Gaulle Airport to begin my new life.
In addition to selling my apartment in New York, I had to get a visa, arrange to ship my possessions, find lodging in Paris, and get the right COVID-19 test. It was a full-time job for several months.
Dealing with complications
Several businesses exist specifically to help foreigners wrestle with these transitions. I found one in France and used its services whenever a process was extraordinarily daunting. Newness brings challenges, and I had plenty of them.
I had visited France, read volumes in French, knew France's cultural icons, and spoke the language at a B2 level — with the necessary fluency to communicate with native speakers without much effort — but there was still much to learn. You can never ask all the questions in advance, and many of my statements began with, "It never occurred to me that…"
My first apartment was temporary and overpriced, in the 16th arrondissement of Paris, where a guidebook said "a feeling of luxury, or at least comfort, maintains." When exiting the building, I could see the Eiffel Tower. It was lovely, but I was paying for the view and the classy address. I decided to look elsewhere — my rental agreement covered only a few months.
I started visiting websites and real-estate agents. In the process, I learned that elderly tenants have extra protection in France, so landlords may hesitate to rent to them. Being in that category, I had to fend off hopelessness.
The learning continues
Though I sold my New York apartment for a nice price, it wasn't enough for an appropriate place in Paris. I needed to get lucky — and I did. I found an apartment through a church buddy.
A few months into living in my current apartment, I had another surprise. One day, an officious tradesman came to my door unannounced to solicit my business: cleaning pipes in the kitchen. I said I didn't have the €82 he wanted to do the work right then and there. A neighbor later told me that French law requires residents to ream the pipelines of home-heating systems annually, and I complied with a known vendor.
The dream of visiting Paris usually includes spending your days going to museums and having coffee at sidewalk cafés. I was spending my time finding the right laundry detergent, opening a bank account, and wrestling with tasks unknown to tourists.
One day, I wanted baking soda to clean a sluggish drain. Not seeing it with the baking supplies, I asked a clerk, who pointed to the cleaning products. I later learned that there's cleaning-grade and food-grade baking soda in France. I wonder what would've happened had I used the former in a recipe.
Embracing independence in France
I loved New York, but I don't miss it. At this stage of my life, I want different things, and Paris offers them.
I now have my residency card and my "carte vitale," which accepts me into France's healthcare system. My current apartment lease ends in May 2024 — I'm exploring "habitat participatif," a practice where a group of like-minded folks buys a building and lives together so each party has personal space yet enjoys common areas and shared amenities.
Remote work makes my job as an independent contractor easier, but I'm wrestling with the tax implications for US citizens living abroad while working for US clients. Figuring out which tax deductions the French government allows has also raised questions I didn't know to ask in advance.
Commenting on New York, a writer once said that great cities make a deal with us, offering an experience like none other. In return, we agree not to complain. Settled in Paris, I spend my time responding to surprises, enjoying the pace of life, and digesting a lifetime of experiences.
I turned 80 last November, and sometimes people ask whether I'm happy with the move. I answer that regret is not an option. You never have to do anything in life, except accept the consequences. I made a decision — my happiness depends on me.
Have you relocated and want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@insider.com.
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