7 therapists and lawyers offer keys to navigating the stresses of Big Law
Insider
- Employees can use legal protections under the ADA and FMLA to seek help for mental health issues.
- But lawyers say they rarely reach out for help for fear of professional repercussions.
- Attorneys shared how they sought treatment, took time off, and prioritized their health.
Insider recently chronicled the stresses of Big Law life. As part of this, we spoke with lawyers who have suffered from depression and, after having taken time to address their mental health issues, have continued to lead successful careers.
They said that attrition is the No. 1 warning sign that a law firm's culture is placing a strain on the workforce. They also offered insights into how to navigate feelings of anxiety and helplessness that can come tumbling down on lawyers with outsized client responsibilities.
Law firms have offered on-call psychologists and wellness initiatives, such as free access to Peloton's workout platform, to help their staff feel better about their work-life balance.
But many lawyers said that these efforts go only so far, as a law firm's business model is built around billable hours, and lawyers are often expected to work 15 hour days or longer. Industry reviews also show the extent of cultural and structural obstacles that attorneys face in seeking help.
A 2020 survey on lawyer well-being by the New York State Bar Association, which had more than 3,000 participants, indicated that only 8 percent of them had looked to employee assistance programs when dealing with issues including mental health concerns.
Attorneys noted their concerns about whether such programs truly offered confidential services, and whether it would reflect on their abilities, according to an October report by the NY SBA's task force on attorney well-being.
But there are legal protections for employees seeking accommodations or time off for mental health issues, under both, the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Family and Medical Leave Act.
Many employees can use the ADA's protections, for instance, to seek accommodations for mental health issues, like trying to negotiate more time for assignments, make flexible work arrangements to seek treatment during work hours, and push for remote work options, said Mariette Clardy-Davis, a mental health attorney with her own practice, M.L. Clardy Law LLC. Beyond legal protections, companies can also work with their employees to offer arrangements that suit their needs, she said.
"Just because the right resources may not be available, it doesn't mean you can't advocate for yourself to your employer," she said.
Through the course of our reporting, several lawyers offered actionable pieces of advice that readers could find useful to think about when approaching work. Though they are all different, one theme remained consistent: It is never too late to find something else to do, or even just pick up the phone and seek counseling. Burying your problems with more work is a recipe for disaster, they said.
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Gavin Alexander, the wellness director of Jackson Lewis, says that when you're dealing with a mental breakdown at work, it only adds to the stress if you don't already have a therapist or psychologist who is covered by insurance.
"You don't want to be looking when you are in a crisis," said Alexander.
Alexander recommended starting to talk to a therapist even if you are doing pretty well, or reaching out to the state's lawyer assistance program to develop relationships.
One thing that helped Alexander when he worked at Ropes & Gray as a corporate associate was working out a reduced hours work arrangement. He said that the firm was wholly supportive of the move.
"They would rather have some of you, than none of you," said Alexander.
He also said that reduced hours work arrangements don't need to be permanent, but could even be for short periods of time. "I'm a big fan of saying, 'Hey, I need a month where I'm going to be working a little less," he said. "I've got some depression or some symptoms of anxiety where I need some time to recover."
There are also intensive outpatient programs available for lawyers to learn coping mechanisms to help them deal with stress, he said.
"I say these things, as I really want to emphasize these are tools to help you recover and help you become incredible again. These are not to signal you are a failure or lost cause."
Alexander flagged the Lawyers Depression Project as a resource for lawyers who are struggling with mental health. It's a non-profit organization that hosts and facilitates free online, confidential peer support groups for lawyers and legal professionals around the world.
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Ellen Ostrow says that law firms can be filled with lawyers who make an already stressful environment even more stressful. But that doesn't mean you should let those people affect your quality of life.
Ostrow says that setting good boundaries, managing expectations, and developing effective ways to say "no" that don't burn bridges, can help a lawyer cope with a mountain of workplace demands that may exceed your resources.
But if a "screamer" is making your life hell, Ostrow says it's important to talk to whoever supports associates in your workplace - the head of the practice group or professional development staff members.
"It's important NOT to continue to work with people who drive you into the ground," she said.
She also said that it can be helpful to constantly assess whether the work you are doing is right for you - another contributor to burnout and feelings of depression. "Are you feeling badly because work has you sitting by yourself writing briefs when you thrive on being around other people?" she said.
Ostrow also made the point that law firms tend to be "punishment avoidance" cultures, where lawyers spend their energy worrying about not meeting their hours, not making mistakes, and not making someone angry. But that kind of thinking can be detrimental to your wellbeing.
She said that there are partners who are more focused on mentoring and rewarding improvements. "Try to find those people," she said.
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Alejandro Guadarrama says that not getting good rest is a warning sign of mental health issues. He remembers when he was a Skadden associate, he often woke up at 3 am, his mind buzzing about work responsibilities.
"I didn't think about why I was waking up," said Guadarrama. "I didn't care."
Guadarrama said that the constant grind of Big Law has desensitized many lawyers to the perils that such a hard-working lifestyle can bring. When he was an associate, before he became a counsel at Skadden in 2017, Guadarrama rarely saw colleagues taking vacations. And when they did, they continued to work.
So when Guadarrama had to drum up the courage to let his colleagues know about his depression and multiple sclerosis diagnosis, it was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life, he said.
Most people think about going to the doctor in terms of physical check-ups, but Guadarrama said that mental check-ups should take place as well.
But if you feel like you need help, Guadarrama stressed the importance of speaking to people about it and pointed to confidential lawyers assistance programs, which he said connects lawyers with assistance.
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Will Meyerhofer, a therapist in New York City and former Sullivan & Cromwell lawyer, said that he likes to encourage clients to re-frame their thinking about work.
Often lawyers feel trapped. But he says to remember that Big Law was a conscious choice lawyers made and they can think of it as a stepping stone.
"Those partners working you to death aren't parent figures refusing to acknowledge your hard work and denying you appreciation," said Meyerhofer. "They're not your damn parents! They're just a law firm, in it to make money, and further their own careers."
And just as lawyers placed themselves into Big Law roles, they can also change their mind, he said.
"You're not in control of all the variables, but you can make choices, and one of them is to leave and do something else, even if there are obvious challenges in taking that step as well."
Courtesy of Regina Colantonio.
Lawyers acknowledge that taking extended time off work can be a logistical challenge, and that it comes with its own stress about future career prospects. But for some, it's offered a lifeline and a vision for what's possible beyond the pressures of billing hours.
Regina Colantonio told Insider that she took a 12-week leave of absence in April 2020, after feeling pushed to the brink by a mental health crisis precipitated by working while caring for her two young sons, aged 3 and 6 at the time, all confined at home in Philadelphia early in the COVID-19 pandemic.
But Colantonio, who had been working at the time at Cozen O'Connor, had taken some preliminary steps well in advance, which made the move possible, she said. In 2018, she had joined the group Women Interested in Leaving Law, or WILL, through which she had met others who had taken similar sabbaticals.
"The WILL group was so incredibly helpful," Colantonio said. "It helped me have the courage to reach out to the HR person first to tell them, 'I need to do this,' and second, ask them, 'how can that happen?'"
Her firm's HR team helped her navigate the protocols for taking a leave of absence under those circumstances, like filling out paperwork and getting a medical provider to sign off, she said. She also reached out to the partner she was working with to inform him. The leave then had to be approved a few weeks at a time, per the company's insurance requirements, and with her medical provider's continued sign-off, she said.
Taking that extended time off helped her find reprieve, seek help, and care for her children, she said. It also gave her a sense of professional clarity — she realized the line of work wasn't a good fit, and she and her firm decided to part ways mutually.
"It's a difficult profession to leave, despite the terror and mental health problems it creates," she said. "The money, the years you've worked to get there, the level of status you feel in the profession."
"But if I hadn't taken that time off, I don't know where I would be — it gave me the courage to not work as a lawyer since then, which is something I don't know that I could have done on my own," she said.
Courtesy of Michael Kasdan.
Michael Kasdan has been a practising lawyer for over two decades, internalizing the profession's productivity norms and codes of silence around issued deemed personal. But when an acute mental health crisis hit him in June last year, he knew he had to be upfront, he said.
He spoke to his partner at Wiggin and Dana, who worked with him to figure out a solution — which in his case was time off work for months — and helped him communicate it to others at the firm, he said.
"I would say, find a trusted colleague or supervisor, and just go to them and explain what's happening," Kasdan said. "We think we're the only ones struggling, but that's not going to be the first time that person has heard it from someone."
Kasdan acknowledged that despite more attorneys being vocal about mental health issues, young attorneys in particular may have valid fears about the potential repercussions of speaking up. The onus is on firm leadership and partners to demonstrate an understanding of mental health issues, and to speak out about it themselves, he said.
"There's a lot of pressure on young attorneys, and there are different pressures on senior attorneys," Kasdan said. "I've come to believe after going through that, that it's really important for leaders to be open about it."
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